When I wake up this morning, I am wearing the same clothes I’ve been wearing for the last two days. I work from home today, so I don’t bother to change until most of the day has disappeared. I haven’t bathed since Saturday morning. I’m pretty sure I’ve done a tiny wee in my pyjama bottoms, owing to a lingering asthmatic cough and poor bladder control caused by childbearing.
Normally, these things would disgust me, but the pace of my new job has wiped not just my energy, but my inhibitions as well. Is this the new me?
And Ben. What the frig is going on with him? We chat frequently, but it is always so awkward. Yes, yes, we’re separated. No change there. But it’s all just so weird. I have residual anger, an unhealthy need for answers, and too much despair coursing through my increasingly prominent veins. Can I really take another Christmas like this?
So, Borgen is back on BBC4. For those who haven’t had the pleasure of watching series 1 and 2, Borgen is a Danish political drama featuring strong female leads (including one who plays the former prime minister, pictured right, centre) – women who balance family life with intense careers. I watch it without fail, every weekend.
The last episode took us deeper into the relationship between Katrine (a journalist who is now a political spin doctor; pictured above, left) and her ex-partner Kaspar (an ex-spin doctor who is now a journalist). The two have a baby son, but are separated and trying to set clear boundaries in their own relationship. Clearly, Katrine wants more from Kaspar and is always disappointed when he leaves after dropping their son off. Kaspar, on the other hand, is busily shagging one woman after another, often having a colleague collect his son from the childminder.
Understandably, Katrine is not happy about this. But in the end, she decides it’s his life, and, I suppose, that when their son is with her ex, he’s with him and she needs to trust that he is looking after him. (I’m not sure I’d be that trusting).
Well, you can see where I’m going with this one, right? This awkward relationship in which two ex-partners are in and out of each other’s homes, appearing to those looking in like a contented family. I won’t even try to deny the similarities, or how annoyed I am to see this aspect of my life reflected on screen. Dammit!
To recover from this bruising realisation, I turn to Animal odd couples (BBC1), and wonder how it’s possible that a dog can befriend a deer, but I still can’t find a way to connect with the father of my daughter.