I married an alcoholic. I didn’t know it at the time, but when I think about it now, I realise the signs were there from the very beginning. I remember bumping into him during our postgrad days. We lived at the same halls of residence in central London.

idyllic accommodation

Where we met – our idyllic postgraduate halls of residence

Anyway, I was on my way out of the building and he was on his way in, carrying his groceries. These consisted of two Mars bars and two beers. My grocery bag usually contained gorgonzola cheese and fruit. I know that sounds smug, but there it is. A sign if there ever was one. And I didn’t see it.

Sixteen years later and here we are: married, with a 4-year-old daughter, one of us employed, the other not (guess which). I’m now allergic to gorgonzola cheese. He still buys beer and chocolate.

Needless to say, I don’t drink.

** update: July 2013

I first started this blog in April 2012. Since then, my husband, who I call Ben here, has been in and out of detox, went into rehab (twice) and is now in recovery. He no longer drinks, nor does he live with us. Our daughter is now 5. I’ve kept this blog anonymous, to protect the identities of my daughter, her dad… and myself.

And me? I’m still married to an alcoholic.



34 thoughts on “About

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  3. I just found your blog and I was wondering if the writing and getting things out of your head helps you? I am also married to an alcoholic, though since he is able to hold down a job, it is hard to get him (and others) to see it as a problem. I was wondering if starting my own blog might help me work through this in my head. I feel like my thoughts are racing and getting them out might be helpful . . . .

    • Hi there – yes, get those thoughts down on screen and push the publish button. It’s helped me tremendously – and I’ve no doubt you will find a community of folks to help you through the turmoil. Your husband sounds like a functional alcoholic. Even if they don’t hold down the job, it is hard – so hard – to get them to admit they have a problem. That’s the first step, and it takes a very long time for many to take it. Anyway, enough from me – get writing!

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  6. I just found your blog and can’t wait to go back and read everything. I’m 26, and my 33 year old husband was just diagnosed with cirrhosis. We have 3 kids. I want to thank you for sharing your thoughts and life with the world.

  7. You are a talented writer with a beautiful spirit. Sending happy thoughts and good vibes to you, your Rosie and your recovering hubby. So glad our paths crossed.

  8. Pingback: One hundred years of solitude | married to an alcoholic

  9. Your story and style of writing is captivating. I’m a busy mom of 3 and I could not stop reading! Have you thought of writing a book? Good luck with everything, I cheering for you on the sidelines.

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